As well as discovering your purpose, it is also really important to look at your motivation, or your why. If you want to earn more money, lose weight or climb Mount Everest, you need to work out the reasons behind these decisions, what is the real need you want to meet?
At the beginning of this journey, I decided that one of my goals was to make significantly more money. I’m sure I’m not alone with this goal, and at first glance, it doesn’t really seem to need much explanation. But, when I began to break it down, some interesting things came up.
It became clear that I was looking for more financial equality in my relationship. My partner has always earned more money than I do, and this has always given me a feeling of imbalance. My desire to earn more money, was also a desire to address this balance and eliminate the feeling that I was somehow inferior and less important. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t ‘pay my way’ or that I felt reliant on him financially. Once I’d identified this, it helped me in two ways. Firstly, I could speak to him about how I felt and open up about some of my insecurities. Although this didn’t change the financial situation, it made me feel much better and gave him a better understanding of why I feel the way I do. Secondly, it gave me a much clearer appreciation of my goal as I knew exactly what I wanted to achieve and why. This made me even more determined to make my own money, and motivated me to try new things.
Tony Robbins talks about our ‘why’ and how we meet our needs. He believes that we have six core human needs and that these drive us every day:
- love and connection
- growth and contribution
My desire for more money is probably motivated by my need for significance. I want to feel that I am really contributing something valuable to the home. Once I recognized this, I started to look for other ways to meet this need and find significance by contributing in different ways.
As well as a desire to make more money, I knew I wanted to make a career change for other reasons. I loved being a teacher, but it was no longer meeting my need for growth and contribution so I spent a long time thinking about my ‘why’ and what I wanted to achieve. I knew I needed a new challenge as I was feeling like I wasn’t living up to my full potential. I wanted to push myself to see what I was capable of, and create something I could be proud of. Starting my own business as a hypnotherapist has been an amazing way to stretch myself and I have grown immensely as a person during the process. It has opened up a whole new set of opportunities and led me to meet some amazing people. Through writing my own hypnotherapy scripts and guided meditations, my love for writing has been rekindled which, in turn, has led me to creating this series of blogs. Life can take us in unexpected directions once we decide to take chances and ask ourselves the big question, why?
Take some time to think about your why. Which of the five human needs are important to you right now?